Ridiculous Cards - Mike Corrigan

Continuing with the lot of 1974-75 Topps cards I recently picked up, here's another gem. If I had to choose one word to describe Mike Corrigan and his haircut, I'm not sure if I would go with "slow" or "medieval". The pen marks on either side of the Kings name just add to this card in my opinion. Could the photographer have tried any less to get a decent photo?

Ridiculous Cards - Fred Shero

I recently won a 1974-75 Topps hockey lot on eBay. I've never owned any of these and wanted to get a start on the set. I kind of like the cheesy design and the photography is horrendous. I'm going to show a few of what I think are the funniest cards from the lot, starting with this Fred Shero.

Shero was actually a great coach who led the Philadelphia Flyers to two straight Stanley Cup championships in the mid-70s, and is the winningest coach in Flyers history, yet all I could do was snicker when I came across this card in the stack. Fred passed away of stomach cancer in 1990, and his son Ray is the current GM for the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Ridiculous Cards - Bill Butler

1970 Topps - #377 - Bill Butler

Tell me this isn't one of the worst photo touch-ups you've ever seen? Look at that hat!

Ridiculous Cards - Clint Malarchuk

1991 Upper Deck - #368

This...rare...and...extremely...valuable 1991 Upper Deck Clint Malarchuk card isn't really too ridiculous on its own. Sure, it's not every day that you see a goalie 10 feet out of his crease "going high" on an opposing player. But the real reason I've chosen this card has to do with an article I stumbled across today. It's a brief article, but all you really need is the opening sentence:

"Clint Malarchuk, the former NHL goalie best known for having his jugular vein slashed by a skate in a 1989 game with Buffalo, is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the chin with a rifle".

That is easily the greatest sentence I've read in weeks. What did this guy's neck do to deserve this? Apparently this happened when he was out shooting rabbits, which must be quite a challenge. There's not much more to the article, but if you want to bother reading the other two paragraphs (or if you think I made this up) you can find them here.

Ridiculous Cards - Tito Fuentes

1977 Topps #63 - Tito Fuentes

Sorry Tito, but the sweatband/hat combo is not working for you. Try to say "Tito Fuentes does not look like Sloth from the Goonies" with a straight face. You can't do it, can you?

Ridiculous Cards - Ralph Macchio

1991 Pro Set Platinum - #295

No, your eyes are not deceiving you, this is actually a hockey card of Ralph Macchio. The 1991 Pro Set Platinum hockey set contains a series of "celebrity captain" cards, and Ralph was selected as the New York Islanders' representative. He did grow up in New York, but somehow I doubt he had a lot of time to watch Islanders games in the 1980s between the Karate Kid movies and the photo shoots for practically every teen pop magazine in existence.

With the way the Oilers put an end to the Islanders dynasty during the 80s, maybe Ralph used Wayne Gretzky or Mark Messier as motivation to chop through those blocks of ice in Karate Kid. This is truly a ridiculous card...

Ridiculous Cards - Bob Walk

1992 Score #54 - Bob Walk

Can you think of another card where the player depicted looks as much like the team logo as this one? I swear there's probably a peg-leg cropped out of the photo just below Bob's left knee...

Ridiculous Cards - Wayne Presley

1992 Topps Stadium Club #24 - Wayne Presley

I thought the Rob Zettler card was the strangest card from the 1992 Topps Stadium Club hockey set, but I was wrong. Apparently Rob was not the only player with a desire to show off his motorcycle. The odd thing is that on Wayne's card, the motorcycle itself is cropped right out of the picture (aside from some crappy red racing stripes and some fishnet near the back). The focus here doesn't seem to be on Wayne's ride so much as his riding "look".

This card is a prime example of how things went terribly wrong in the 80s and early 90s on the style front. Wayne has commited a classic fashion faux pas of denim on denim. The jacket and pants are such a similar shade that it almost gives the illusion of a denim jump suit. The gloves are just plain creepy. I have no idea why the knuckles have to be exposed. I wonder if there are any more motorcycle shots in this set?

Ridiculous Cards - Rob Zettler

1992 Topps Stadium Club Hockey #225 - Rob Zettler

In 1992, Topps Stadium Club's hockey release contained player ratings (from 1-5) for various different skills (depending on position) on the back of each card. Rob Zettler earned a 4 out of 5 for crease-clearing ability. Yeah, you don't want to mess with Rob. In case that completely arbitrary and meaningless rating doesn't convince you, just check out this great shot of him on his hog.

If this were another player, we might see a great, high-quality action shot on the card, like the ones early Stadium Club cards are known for, but Rob wouldn't settle for that. In 1992 he walked into Topps headquarters with a single goal in mind, to force Topps to use on his Stadium Club card a photo of his two-wheeled beauty from a private photoshoot he'd arranged on an abandoned dock 2 weeks earlier. He strolled in there with the collar to his leather jacket in an upright position and a second collared shirt under his sweater, kicked some ass and took some names.

Sixteen years later I pulled this card out of a pack and laughed my ass off for a good 5 minutes. I bought a wax box of this stuff and I've still got a few packs left. I hope I pull 10 more of these...